


Ghost

by coffeeandcas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Jimmy Novak, Castiel and Jimmy Novak are Twins, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Jimmy Novak, Past Infidelity, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Sibling Incest, Siblings, Switch Castiel, Threesome, Top Dean, Twincest, Twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-13 17:46:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11765121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeandcas/pseuds/coffeeandcas
Summary: Jimmy Novak has always been the submissive one. When he and Cas were growing up, everyone thought he was the confident, bossy, domineering twin who had Castiel under his command - but the reality was very different. And when Dean Winchester comes into their lives the dynamic of their relationship changes even further, sending them spiralling into turmoil.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on an emoji prompt I received on [Tumblr](http://coffeeandcas.tumblr.com/). I'm super nervous posting this. The boys all show their flaws in this one, so watch for a hint of violence between Jimmy and Cas and some (very consensual) rough, emotional sex. 
> 
> This is the first time I've written DCJ, a poly relationship, and siblings in love. So feedback is greatly appreciated!

Jimmy Novak has always been the submissive one. When he and Cas were growing up, everyone thought he was the confident, bossy, domineering twin who had Castiel under his command - but the reality was very different. Jimmy did whatever Cas wanted, _whenever_ he wanted. He would do anything to make his twin happy, and that fact solidified their relationship from a young age. Jimmy was devoted to Cas and vice versa. Castiel may have been the quieter, shyer twin but he held all the power: Jimmy idolised him.

When they were six, Cas was disciplined for pushing a boy over at school after he poked fun at Jimmy’s handwriting. Age eight, it was Jimmy in trouble after school bullies took a liking to Cas. Age ten, Castiel made friends with a redhead named Charlie and didn't seem to need Jimmy any more. Then another friend came along, Benny, and he definitely branched out on his own, leaving Jimmy behind to watch him go. So Jimmy hid his hurt by becoming overly confident, too outgoing, and just a little too loud, attracting a lot of friends but never quite bringing Cas back to his side as he was when they children. It was painful. Jimmy felt that, no matter what he did, he almost blended into the background where his twin was concerned. Always there, rarely noticed. So he acted up, acted out, caused trouble and became bratty and dramatic. But at a single word or even a look from Cas he would quieten, desperate for the approval of his twin who was becoming more intelligent and handsome as the years wore on. Jimmy adored him, and as he progressed through his teenage years his love changed from something platonic to something much more intense. But Cas still sometimes looked right through him, as though he were invisible.

They were eighteen. Cas had a girlfriend and Jimmy, petulant and jealous, went out and got one of his own and proceeded to do everything possible to outdo his twin in a desperate attempt for his attention. He kissed Pamela before Cas kissed Meg. Pamela gave him a blowjob before Cas had even considered third base. Jimmy lost his virginity - Cas blushed and looked away when he bragged about it. Jimmy was left wondering why. Then they were in their twenties and both single once more. Cas was content, Jimmy was lonely. He felt invisible once more as Cas dedicated his time to his career, like a ghost in the shadows. But he had no idea at all how his life was about to change.

They kissed for the first time one New Year's Eve, when the night was cold and dry, and all their friends were laughing and setting off fireworks. They were alone in the kitchen when midnight struck, and Jimmy had gone to hug his brother when it transpired Cas had very different ideas. He had cupped the back of Jimmy’s head and pressed their lips together, firm but hesitant and gentle, and it had been the most natural thing in the world to kiss him back. He hadn't pulled away, had allowed his eyes to fall closed, then Cas had broken the kiss with what sounded suspiciously like a sigh of regret. Confused, Jimmy opened his eyes to see Cas gazing at him with an unreadable expression, his hand still tangled in Jimmy’s hair.

“Cas… what…”

Cas shrugged. “I didn't want to kiss anyone else.” Then he smiled. “Happy New Year, Jimmy.”

Then he was gone, outside to join their friends, leaving Jimmy standing alone feeling like something definitive had just changed in his life.

But they didn't kiss again for an entire year.

That year gave Jimmy Novak time to dissect his feelings for Cas, and to work out if the desire and attraction he felt was a figment of some warped part of his imagination, seeking nothing but attention. By the time Christmas comes around he's pretty sure he's just confused and lonely, that the kiss was nothing and Cas was just playing around, but a small part of him is dying to know what this year will bring.

New Year's Eve seemed to creep up again far too slowly for Jimmy’s liking. In twelve whole months he never managed to work up the courage to ask Cas what the hell the kiss meant, and eventually convinced himself he had imagined the way he felt when their lips touched. Until it happened again: midnight, they were alone again, this time in the bathroom at the bar where they were partying with old college friends, and Cas had pushed Jimmy against the mirror and kissed him on the mouth. This time it lingered and deepened, and Cas slipped his tongue in for just a second. Then he pulled back - not away, just back - and gazed at Jimmy with dark, intense eyes. They weren't pressed together but they were pretty damn close; Jimmy could smell and taste the whiskey on Cas’ breath, and he didn't miss the way his brother’s eyes darted down to his mouth then back up again. Cas licked his lips, looked like he was going to go in for another kiss, then pulled away entirely. A second later, the door closed behind him and Jimmy was left alone, trembling.

Along with being naturally submissive to his fiercer, more intense twin, Jimmy Novak is also a coward. So that was the reason why yet another year went by before Cas took his hand in the hallway of their apartment, right before they were due to leave for yet another New Year’s party, and said, ‘Do I really have to wait until midnight?’ As Jimmy’s tongue darted out nervously to caress his own bottom lip, Cas moved closer, backing him against the wall.

“Can I kiss you, Jimmy?”

He wanted to say yes so badly. But what came out was, ‘Why?’

“Why?” Cas smiled, and Jimmy thought he never looked more handsome. “Because you're all I want. You're all I've ever wanted. Tell me no and I'll never ask you again, we’ll never speak of this again. But…” Cas glanced down to their linked hands. Jimmy was trembling.

Neither of them ever knew who closed the gap and kissed first, but it was the moment their lives changed irreparably for the better. They spent that New Year's Eve naked in each other's arms, and when the clock struck midnight they found themselves curled under a blanket, Jimmy’s back to Cas’ chest, stroking expanses of bare skin and kissing lazily.

That was how they continued, for years. Just the two of them, twin brothers in love. Jimmy hated having to hide their relationship away but he loved Cas incredibly and it was worth it, always. It felt right, being with Cas. Like it was meant to be, like Cas was his soulmate. It never, not once, felt wrong. They came together so naturally, so perfectly, and when Cas laid Jimmy out and spent hours pleasuring him it was like they'd been doing it all along. Suddenly, Jimmy Novak didn't feel invisible any more.

Then Dean Winchester came into their lives and they both fell in love for the second time.

*

Cas fell hard and fast for Dean, but it took Jimmy much longer. Dean was certainly handsome and charming, and Jimmy could only watch from the sidelines as his brother was swept off his feet. They went on dates almost every day and Cas spent more and more nights away, sleeping over at Dean’s and returning with a happy, satisfied glimmer in his bright blue eyes. He didn't know about the twins’ intimate relationship and Cas was determined to keep it that way. It never seemed to occur to him that he was, to all intents and purposes, cheating on both his lovers. Or if it did, he just didn't care. The months went by, and Jimmy battled almost constant jealousy as he descended into loneliness, bitter and sad at how he would never be able to go on dates with Cas nor shower him with affection and attention in public the way Dean can. He slowly began to feel like he was invisible to Cas once again, like a ghost haunting the hallways of their house, always there for Cas to return to when he was done with his real boyfriend. And Cas _would_ return to Jimmy, always. Sometimes just to hold him but more often than that to fuck him and whisper dirty praise in his ear as they both lay sweat-drenched and exhausted in their afterglow.

Castiel had both his boyfriend and his dirty little secret, and had everything he wanted.

And Jimmy had his jealousy.

Submissive, cowardly… add spiteful into the mix and those were Jimmy Novak’s weak spots. When he felt wronged, slighted or ignored, Jimmy Novak could be absolutely vicious. Which is why, one evening, Jimmy stole Cas’ phone when he was in the shower and sent two words to the _lovely_ Dean Winchester. He wanted his brother back, all to himself, and he had hatched a plan to make it happen.

**Come over.**

When Dean did come over, less than an hour later, he found something he certainly wasn't expecting. He found his lover, Castiel, naked on the sofa in the arms of his twin brother with only the lamplight to illuminate their muscular bodies. His twin brother, handsome and devious, who was cupping his erection, playing with one of his tender, swollen nipples, and kissing him like no tomorrow. Dean had, understandably, freaked out completely and Jimmy had simply sat on the couch as his twin begged and pleaded with his boyfriend not to go, stumbling to pull on his jeans but failing to go after Dean in time.

Jimmy Novak, it seemed, had got his wish.

But oh, the trouble it caused. Dean didn't speak to Cas for days, said he needed space, and eventually, learning of his deception, Cas turned on Jimmy so viciously that their relationship was almost fractured beyond repair. Jimmy was pushed, shoved, slapped, had his hair pulled and Cas bit him on the neck so savagely that it drew blood. That was when the physical violence turned to lust, and they fucked roughly on the kitchen floor, semi-clothed, Jimmy clinging to Cas and begging for him not to stop.They lay together in a tangle of limbs afterward, both panting hard with their foreheads pressed together, and Jimmy tasted salt as Cas’ tears dripped into his mouth.

“Why did you do it, Jim?” Cas sobbed quietly, eyes screwed shut and fingers tight on his brother’s biceps. “Why did you take him from me?”

Jimmy couldn't answer. He couldn't admit that he was jealous, that losing Cas would be worse than anything else he could ever imagine. So he just cuddled close and remained silent, ashamed and sore. Cas cleaned the semen from their bodies in the shower and wiped blood from between Jimmy’s thighs, shame-faced, for the first and last time.

“Because I love you, Cas,” Jimmy sobbed into his brother’s bare shoulder as Castiel rinsed the last of the shower gel from the back of his thighs. “Because I was losing you. Because I _need_ you.”

That night, they didn't sleep. They made love, Cas cried, and Jimmy dried his tears.

Jimmy had his brother back, but he was far from happy. Because Castiel was bitterly, heartbreakingly sad. He missed Dean, that much was obvious, and nothing Jimmy could say or do could fill that void. So after a week of holding Cas while he fell asleep, consoling him when he felt low, and apologising profusely when Cas’ anger got out of control, Jimmy was convinced he'd made a huge mistake.

*

Two weeks after Dean caught them entwined together and Cas is at his lowest. He drags himself to work then back home to the apartment he shares with Jimmy, manages a few mouthfuls of dinner then goes to bed early, usually with the sigh of a man carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Jimmy doesn't follow him, not immediately. He comes up an hour later and curls up at Cas’ side, listening to his brother’s slow, even breaths, and lies awake regretting what he did. He never wanted Cas to be unhappy, and had foolishly thought that he was enough for his brother. It seems he was wildly wrong.

Three weeks later and Cas is on the mend. In fact, he even seems cheerful. One evening he comes down the hall dressed in a sweater and jeans, kisses Jimmy on the mouth and leaves with only a cursory, ‘Got a date, don't wait up’ thrown back over his shoulder.It's strange behaviour, a very sudden turn of events, and Jimmy is left staring after Cas feeling, again, lost. He spends the evening restless, watching Netflix and surfing the web aimlessly, and as midnight approaches he realises he's done exactly what Cas told him not to do: he's waited up. Great. Then, just as he’s gathering himself up from the sofa and contemplating going straight to bed without a shower, there's a heavy knock at the front door.

He yanks it open, distracted by the barking of the neighbour’s dog down the street, and as a result is completely unprepared when he stares up into emerald green eyes and an unreadable frown. His heart stops in his chest and his fingers tighten on the door handle as he realises he's gazing up at Dean Winchester, dressed in distressed jeans and a leather jacket, and that somehow they're a lot closer than he realised. Dean smells of gasoline and pine bark, and Jimmy’s body responds instantly. He's always considered Dean to be attractive. Ha - fuck attractive, Dean is smoking hot and Jimmy knows it. But his jealousy and envy have always got in the way before, and he's generally given Dean a wide berth. They've never been this close before, and they've certainly never been alone together. For a moment, they just watch each other then Jimmy clears his throat, his chest tight with nerves.

“I'm not Cas.”

Dean snorts, rolls his eyes, and almost smiles. “No shit, Sherlock. I know you're not Cas.”

“Oh.” Jimmy can barely think. Dean is too close and smells too good. And he's _Cas’_. He needs to get himself under control. “Right.”

If possible, Dean seems to inch a little closer. “And besides, it isn't Cas I want to talk to.”

“Oh?” Coherent, intelligent speech seems to be evading Jimmy completely. He blinks owlishly and waits.

“It's you I want to speak to, Jimmy.” Dean definitely moves a little closer and Jimmy’s pulse ratchets up. “I think we have a few things to talk about, don't you? And I think we very definitely have something in common.”

“Cas…” His brother’s name leaves his lips, almost as a prayer. Dean smiles, and there's tenderness behind it.

“Yes. Cas.”

*

They sit on the sofa and try to talk it out. But after a few rather stilted silences, Dean sighs and gets up, sitting down once more on the edge of the coffee table in front of Jimmy, effectively pinning him in place with his proximity. It's nerve-wracking, exciting because _damn_ Dean is gorgeous, but just a little intimidating. Jimmy tries quickly to articulate his thoughts, more than a little concerned about Cas catching them alone together and what his twin would think.

“You don't know what it's like,” He says in a rush. “Being with Castiel your whole life. He's like this… force of nature, all strong and silent and perfect, and I'm always the one tagging after him. I never meant to deceive you, I'm sure he didn't either. This thing between us… I don't even know what it is. I'm sure Cas will end it with me if you want…” Oh _God,_ that hurts to even think it. “I know he will. He likes you, he really does…”

“Jimmy. Take a breath. I'm not here to tell you to leave Cas alone and get the hell out of his life.”

“You're… not?”

“No. I just wanna talk.”

“Oh. Right.” Jimmy takes a moment to collect himself. “I felt like he was slipping away. From my arms into yours. So I did something stupid. But…” He forces himself to take a breath. “I just felt so invisible, and he was so happy with you…” He trails off. What else can he say? Dean must be disgusted with him, must hate him, God knows why he's even here.

But Dean’s frown suggests neither hate nor disgust. He looks… concerned.

“You've never been invisible to Cas, Jimmy.” Dean is a strange mixture of shocked and resigned. “He adores you. His whole life revolves around you. He talks constantly about you, and the things he says?” He shakes his head ruefully. “I should have realised something was going on. Foolish, really.”

“I'm… I'm sorry, Dean.” Jimmy can't think of a single thing to say to that revelation. He's been living under the self-imposed impression that he never comes up in conversation. Dean sends him a slightly mischievous smile in return, which just adds to Jimmy’s confusion. He was expecting cold anger, was fully prepared for Dean to lash out at him. But what he's experiencing instead is a strange mix of signals.

“You're not sorry I caught you. You wanted to be caught.”

“I just…” Jimmy stares at his hands. “I missed Cas.”

“And you wanted him back. And the easiest way to do that was to expose your relationship in the hope of getting me out of the picture.”

Jimmy swallows. Hearing it put like that, so crudely, is painful to say the least. Dean is staring at him and shaking his head.

“Low blow, Jim. Outing your brother that way. Not everyone would react positively, you know?”

“I know.”

“Of course you know. You were banking on me turning tail and running. Weren't you?”

Jimmy can't say yes, he just can't. No matter how true it is.

“So you could have your brother all to yourself.” Dean has all the pieces of he puzzle perfectly in place; Jimmy can't even begin to defend himself because it's all true. “You couldn't bear the thought of me having him and you losing him. I get it. I swear, I get it.”

They both sit quietly for a moment, neither speaking. Jimmy’s blood is rushing nervously in his ears. He's still unsure if Dean is going to knock him on his ass for what he did. But then…

“What if… what if we could work something out?” Dean’s eyes are dark and intense and Jimmy swallows reflexively. “What if Cas could have you… and have me as well? And all of it out in the open so you don't have to worry about getting hurt. Would that make you happy, Jimmy?”

 _No_. “Why would it? Cas goes back to having everything he wants and I go back to being my brother’s filthy little secret.” It's said so bitterly that he surprises himself. The tears in his eyes make his vision blur and he blinks them away, horrified.

“Hey.” Dean’s hand comes to rest warmly on his thigh and his gaze reflects nothing but concern. “You're nobody's dirty secret. That isn't what I meant.”

“Oh? Well, how else would it go?” Hurt, Jimmy can't hold Dean’s gaze for more than a moment. “He can hardly walk down the street with both of us on his arm, can he? Especially not me.”

“We could work out the details,” Dean says, his thumb now drawing circles on Jimmy’s thigh and leaving a hot, fiery trail in its wake; Jimmy has to repress a shudder. “But it would have to be something that keeps you happy. Keeps you _both_ happy. Because I won't be the person who comes between you, nor will I be the reason you feel pushed aside.” He pauses. “I very much _don't_ want you pushed aside, Jimmy.”

And hell, if that isn't a loaded sentence then what is? Dean’s green eyes are dark and enticing and he's staring at Jimmy with barely-disguised attraction, the kind that would make him weak at the knees were he standing upright. Dean _can't_ mean what he's implying, he surely can't. Jimmy must have his wires more badly crossed than usual to be thinking… _that_.

“If I had it my way, Jimmy,” Dean continues, his voice lower now, barely above a whisper. “You'd never be pushed aside again. I… You and Cas…” He glances up, all sultry under dark lashes. “You intrigue me, both of you.” Jimmy’s heart almost stops. “I want to get to know you better. Separately and…” Dean’s Adam's apple bobs as he swallows. “Together.”

Oh. Holy. Shit. Now _that_ is one-hundred per cent a flirtation and Jimmy colours quickly, his brain short-circuiting as he tries and fails to come up with a worthy response. His first reaction, and the one he goes with, is self-preservation.

“You can't be serious,” His soft tone belies his words. “Nobody is that open-minded, Dean.”

“I am.” It's said with full conviction. “You're beautiful and so is your brother. Now that I know about you I can't actually imagine you _not_ being together.” The air in the room suddenly seems thicker. Dean seems closer, and Jimmy’s heart is pounding so hard he's sure it must be audible. “It seems so…”

“Natural,” Jimmy whispers and Dean inclines his head in agreement.

“Natural.” The hand moves from his thigh and takes his hand and Jimmy can't think straight. This is all too much, Dean coming to his house and suggesting… this. Cas is angry with him still, he's not even _with_ Dean right now as far as Jimmy knows… it's all making his head spin and he needs space to think. He stands up sharply, dislodging Dean who leans back with a concerned frown.

“I can't… I need to think about this, I can't be… I _won't_ be just a bit of fun for you and Cas.” Tears prick his eyes again, his raw emotions so near the surface. He tries to walk away towards the door, fully intending to open it and usher Dean out, but his wrist is caught in a gentle grip. Concerned green eyes gaze up at him, soft and sweet, and Dean just stares for a moment.

“Jimmy. You'd never be a plaything for us. Ever. You're Castiel’s everything. I'm sorry you've felt so sidelined, I didn't know. If I had…” He trails off and all manner of possibilities bounce around in Jimmy’s overwrought mind. “You're not invisible, Jimmy. Not to Cas,” He's almost whispering again. “And certainly not to me.”

They stand and just stare at each other for a moment. It would be so easy to fall into Dean’s arms, get carried away and do something he may later regret. The undisguised want in the other man’s eyes is doing things to Jimmy, pleasant things, but his nerves override everything. He needs time, needs to talk to Cas, and needs to be certain that this isn't some cruel practical joke they're both playing on him. Because the idea of being let into their relationship unconditionally is… it could be everything Jimmy ever wanted.

The sound of the door opening jolts them from their reverie and they both turn to see Cas walk in, key in hand, eyeing them curiously.

“Is it safe? You guys aren't at each other's throats or…” He smirks just a little. “Otherwise engaged?”

Jimmy yanks his hand out of Dean’s grasp as though burned and Cas frowns in confused concern. “No! Of course not!” And he realises with a rush that this was planned. Cas knew Dean was coming to see him. Hell, Cas maybe even _suggested_ it. He feels awash with bewilderment, desire, embarrassment, and just a smidgen of hurt.

Suddenly, having both of them there in the room is too much. He's too warm, too claustrophobic, and he needs to be on his own to process all of this before he says or does something irrevocably stupid. Dean, more than Cas, seems to sense this. He stands up and his hand is warm and gentle on Jimmy’s back.

“Just think about what I said, OK? No pressure. I just… I think we could all make each other really happy. One way or another.”

Jimmy can only nod and, as Cas shoots him a curious look, hightails it down the hallway towards his room and closes the door, before falling onto his bed and burying his burning face in his forearms.

Later, he overhears Cas and Dean having extremely vigorous makeup sex, and he falls asleep more confused than ever.


	2. Chapter 2

Jimmy wakes, for the fifth night in a row, hard and aching. He's been dreaming of Dean in all manner of scenarios: some innocent, some intimate, some erotic, and some downright filthy. He whines a little as he comes back to consciousness, one hand cupping himself through his boxers as the remnants of the dream fade away. Dean was lying on top of him, covering his body with his, and kissing his neck. They were beautifully naked, and Cas… Cas was watching, enraptured. He turns on his side and curls in on himself, stroking his cock gently through his pants and screwing his eyes shut in frustration. He's so caught up in how good it feels and trying to fight off a wave of guilt that he doesn't notice Cas stir behind him and push himself up onto an elbow.

“Jimmy?” Cas whispers into the darkness; his arm slips around Jimmy’s waist and he presses himself against his twin’s back. “You awake?”

He doesn't trust his voice so he just nods. His hand freezes on himself and he holds his breath wanting, for some reason, not to be caught touching himself in bed with his twin. He hasn't felt this particular sense of guilt in years. He's confused as hell, has been going over and over Dean’s suggestion since he saw him on Friday night, and hasn't managed to gain any further clarity. All he's managed to do is work himself up into a frenzy where he's desperatefor what Dean offered: his brother back in his arms without an outside distraction, because the outside distraction would be right there with them, distracting him too.

“Are you all right?” Cas murmurs into the nape of his neck. His brother’s hand trails across his hip and finds his own, still cupping himself through his underwear. Cas traces the outline of the head of his cock with his thumb and Jimmy shivers, his body responding eagerly. “Do you want me to…”

“No… I'm fine,” He nudges Cas’ curious fingers away; his brother takes the opportunity to slide his hand under Jimmy’s and gently squeeze his shaft, drawing a gasp from his lips.

“You sure?” Cas presses a little closer. “You could top if you want…”

“No. Cas, _no_.” Jimmy pushes his brother away more forcefully, then turns to lie on his back and stares at his twin in the dark. Cas’ shocked blue eyes peer back: Jimmy has never rejected him so sternly before. Jimmy reaches over and winds a strand of Cas’ hair around his finger. “Cas… do you love me?”

“What?” Stunned, Cas pushes himself up onto his elbow again and stares down at his twin. “Of course! Why would you ask? Jimmy, is something wrong?”

“No.”

“Don't lie,” Cas caresses Jimmy’s jaw, gazing down in concern. “You've been off for days, ever since Dean…”

“Yeah, ever since Dean.” Agitated, Jimmy pushes the sheets back and gets up, with no real intent aside from putting some distance between he and Cas. “This is messing me up, Cas, I don't know what to think.”

He paces back and forth across the room, clad in only his boxer briefs with his body finally calming down, and rakes a hand through his hair. When he glances back at the bed, Cas looks so damn gorgeous that he stops in his tracks. His brother is bearing all his weight on one elbow, sheets pooled around his waist and his honeyed skin exposed, and the frown between his brows only makes him look sexier. He extends a hand to draw Jimmy back to bed, but his twin ignores it.

“Jimmy. Why is it so hard to take what you want? Dean and I talked, and we thought you'd like this.”

“Is that the only reason you suggested it? You thought I'd want it?” He can't keep the plaintive tremor from his voice. Cas frowns in confusion then his expression clears and he sits up, shoving the sheets back and reaching for Jimmy in alarm.

“You think we don't want you? That Dean only suggested it to keep you happy?” Cas grabs Jimmy around the waist, not letting go when his brother tries to twist away. “You're the love of my life, you know that. You do know that, right?” His blue eyes are glittering with concern.

“I'm not,” Jimmy whispers. “Not any more. Dean is.”

“ _What_?” Cas releases Jimmy in shock. “You can't be serious.”

“Of course I'm serious, Cas! I'm losing you!” The dam holding Jimmy’s worries and fears finally breaks, and so does Jimmy’s voice as he speaks. “Dean can give you everything I can but _more_! So much more. You can be seen in public with him, you can kiss him and hold him and nobody will care! And you're in love with him, don't act like you're not because I can see it. And where does that leave me?” His eyes spark with I shed tears. “I'm just your bit on the side. A cute boy to fuck when Dean’s busy. I'm just…” He flounders, sniffling. “I'm going to be left on my own.”

“Jimmy… baby… baby boy, no way.” Cas actually looks on the edge of tears himself. “No. Never. That will never, ever happen.” His arms come once more around his twin’s waist, cradling him close and Jimmy goes willingly, desperately seeking comfort. Cas doesn't say anything for a moment. “You think that shit matters to me? Holding hands in public? I don't care about any of that, how can I when I'm lucky enough to have you to come home to? You're right, though, I… I am falling in love with Dean.” At Jimmy’s sharp inhale Cas’ arms tighten. “But the more I fall for him, the more I fall in love with you as well. I thought that we were all set, you know? That I couldn't love you more than I already did. But being with Dean? It amplifies every single reason why I love you.”

Confused, Jimmy frowns against Cas’ neck. “How?”

“Because of how different you are. Your differences bring out your strengths; Dean is great but he's not perfect, Jim. You kinda are. You're wonderful, Jimmy, and I'm not going anywhere. If you want me to leave Dean… I would. I wouldn't want to, but I would. You have to know that I would. I'd leave him for you.”

“I know you would. And that would be so wrong of me to expect that.”

“What Dean and I talked about wasn't a one-night thing. Or even just regular fuck-buddy sex. We want a relationship, all three of us. It's going to be hard,” Cas is rubbing Jimmy’s back. “But we can work on it together, work out what's right for us and what isn't. But only if you want to.”

“I think,” Tearful, Jimmy pulls back to look into Cas’ blue eyes. “I want to try.”

“Well then, how about I invite Dean over later and we… talk it through?” Cas pulls Jimmy to him, embracing him, kissing him chastely on the lips, wanting him to know he's loved. “You're my one and only, Jimmy. Always remember that. I hope there's room for Dean too, but if there isn't? Don't ever think I'll stop loving you. I'm not capable of that. And I'm so sorry if I pushed you away or made you feel insecure. We’ll work this out. I swear.”

“I know,” says Jimmy. And he does.

*

It's Friday again when Dean can make it over, and Jimmy has been a bundle of nerves all week, driving Cas up the wall with his constant questions and ‘what if’s. And the weirdest thing? On Friday night, Jimmy cooks. Jimmy _never_ cooks, and it makes Cas smile to see his brother going to such an effort to welcome Dean and to make a good impression. Not that he needs to - Cas knows Jimmy has already made one hell of an impression, and Dean is well on his way to being smitten.

Dean arrives early, with a kiss on the lips for Cas and a bottle of expensive wine for Jimmy - Cas’ recommendation. As he hands it over, he leans in slowly and, when Jimmy doesn't immediately pull back, he brings two fingers to Jimmy’s jaw and kisses him very gently on the cheek. Jimmy blushes immediately and can't meet anyone's eyes, turning away to busy himself with dinner and mumbling how it's almost ready and please can everyone sit down. Cas smirks and takes Dean’s elbow, guiding him through to the dining room where they both wait patiently for dinner. Cas would help, but he knows from past experiences that when Jimmy is this anxious he prefers to be in full control.

“This looks amazing, Jimmy,” Dean says warmly as soon as they're settled around the dinner table and Cas is pouring wine. “What are we having?”

“Uhm,” Jimmy blushes under the attention and lowers his gaze to his plate. “Prosciutto wrapped chicken with asparagus and wild rice.” He looks up quickly. “Is that OK? Do you like chicken?”

“Of course.” Dean smiles and reaches for Jimmy’s hand, taking it and squeezing. “It looks awesome. You're a great cook.”

They descend into mild conversation about work and the weather, and Jimmy joins in as much as he can but he's too nervous to be his normal, natural self. Cas seems to sense it and presses his thigh against his under the table as a gesture of comfort, and it seems to work. His twin breathes a little easier, at least until all the plates are cleared away and they're sitting finishing Dean’s bottle of wine and a pregnant silence settles upon them. It's Dean, calm, charming, wonderful Dean who breaks it.

“What do you want, Jimmy?” He asks, quietly, circling the rim of his glass with a finger. “Cas says you're… into the idea of us. I just want to be sure, and I want to make sure I - _we_ \- don't do anything to hurt you. Or each other.” He smiles ruefully. “Believe me, I know that if we do this I'll be on the back foot. Nothing and nobody is gonna come between you two. But I don't even care; if I'm lucky enough to have both of you then that's a risk I'm willing to take.”

“I wouldn't… you and Cas…” Jimmy lowers his eyes to his own glass, unsure.

“He thinks he's going to take second place,” Cas says, softly, taking Jimmy’s hand and kissing it. “That it's going to be us and him. I tried to tell him no.”

“Jesus, Jimmy, no way. Would you… will you come here?” Dean stands and extends a hand out to the twin, who eyes him nervously then goes willingly and Dean’s arm slides gently around his waist until they're close to each other, the gap between them so diminished that their chests are almost touching. Up close, Dean smells incredible and his hand rubs soothing circles on Jimmy’s back in an attempt to stop him trembling. “We only want this if you do. You have to know that we want you, we want to be with you in every way possible, but only if you're comfortable with it. It might take some trial and error, but I want this, and I know Cas does. We're sure. The only question is... are you?”

“I… I am.” Jimmy brings his hand up and gently trails his fingers up Dean’s chest, trying not to let his nerves get the better of him. “I want to, I want to try. But…” He swallows, his mouth suddenly dry with a mixture of excitement and a sudden pulsing fear at the thought of what he's actually agreeing to. Fear, but not the kind of fear that makes him want to run and hide. The kind he wants to embrace and face head-on. “I've never done this before, not with two people. What do I… How do we…”

“Hey,” Dean’s fingers touch his chin, tilting his head up and _oh God_ he’s so close and he's so beautiful and is he going to…

Dean’s lips meet his and Jimmy’s whole world halts as fireworks go off in his mind. The arm around his waist tightens as he's pulled close, and Dean’s tongue grazes his bottom lip, requesting entry, asking permission to deepen the kiss. But before Jimmy can acquiesce, Dean pulls back.

“Is this OK?” He whispers, and Jimmy can only nod before letting his eyes fall shut as Dean kisses him again. Behind him, there's the sound of Cas pushing his chair back but a movement from Dean seems to halt him, although Dean’s lips never leave his. A hand comes up to tangle in his hair and he's pulled tight against the younger man’s body. Dean smells of spiced cologne and red wine and it's an intoxicating mix.

“Do you want to get a bit more comfortable?” Jimmy whispers and can barely believe the words left his own lips - his nerves seem to be backing off the more Dean kisses him, leaving behind a heady mix of arousal and excitement. At Dean’s surprised, delighted smile he knows he's said the right thing. And for the first time in a while, he really feels wanted not just _there_.

He takes Dean’s hand and throws Cas the dark, sultry look that he knows gets his brother worked up but has to pause for a second to take in the expression on his twin’s face. Cas’ pupils are dilated and he's leaning forward to watch them together, evidently enamoured by their kissing. A low, almost childish giggle breaks free from Jimmy and he crooks a finger at his twin.

“C’mon, Cas. Dean and I want to get to know each other a bit better…”

*

Upstairs, Jimmy’s nerves suddenly set in again and his mind is whirring with worries. What if he and Dean aren't compatible? What if Cas gets jealous of one of them? What if he isn't any good and Dean gets bored of him immediately? What if…

“You're thinking too much.” Strong arms wrap around his waist from behind: Dean. Warm breath caresses the tender skin behind his ear and Jimmy shivers, watching as Cas moves in front of him and reaches for them both. He's shocked into stillness as Dean lifts a hand, palm out, to Cas and shakes his head.

“But…”

“Jimmy and I are getting to know each other.” Dean’s voice is firm. Low, teasing, but firm. “You'll have to wait.”

“But… can't I just…”

“Hmm, no, I don't think so,” Dean purrs, gently nipping at the back of Jimmy’s neck. “Cas has been really naughty, hasn't he, Jimmy? Thinking he can keep you all to himself, wanting us both but not letting us have each other when all I've wanted to do for days is touch you, just like this. Don't you think he's been naughty?”

 _Naughty_ doesn't really cover how Jimmy feels about Cas’ behaviour, but he isn't in the right frame of mind to think on that too much. Dean’s lips to the nape of his neck are heady and arousing, and he shifts in the embrace, trying to control his breathing.

“Yes,” he whispers finally, eyes falling closed as Dean’s tongue laps at his soft skin. “Cas has been naughty.”

“So as a punishment, I don't think Cas should get to join in with us. What do you say, Jimmy?” Dean turns Jimmy in his arms, just enough so that their eyes meet, and there are a million emotions reflected in his green gaze. He's checking in, making sure Jimmy is alright with this, and simultaneously telling Jimmy that he's the only one Dean wants right now. He doesn't want Cas. He wants _Jimmy_. And, if Jimmy isn't very much mistaken, Dean wants Cas to watch. The idea of his fantasies coming true is too much, and he whines low in his throat then gasps as Dean captures his lips in a searing kiss. “Let's show Cas what he's made us all miss out on, hmm?”

Dean sits down on the edge of the bed and coaxes Jimmy to him, his hands unfastening Jimmy’s jeans and pulling them gently down his thighs, his green eyes constantly flicking up to check in. To make sure Jimmy is OK with this. And he's _more_ than OK. He's still trying to make sense of it all, coax his brain to catch up with his body and _wake up_ to realise that he's getting everything he's ever wanted: his brother, loving him and being unconditionally his, while having someone else to balance them out and shower him with the love and affection he can never get from Cas outside of the house. It's all a bit overwhelming and he closes his eyes, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as Dean’s firm, sure hand cups his semi-erect cock. Normally, this far into sex with Cas when clothes are coming off, he's painfully aroused and needy but his nerves are getting the better of him tonight and his body is unsure. Dean doesn't seem to mind, though, and his sure hand and comforting eyes assuage Jimmy of any worries he has that Dean is judging him.

Dean starts to caress him, stroking him, and it's so incredible he can't hold in a whimper of pleasure as his body responds eagerly. He's quickly lost to pleasure, Dean’s hand sure and deliberate as it works him over, and within minutes he's broken a sweat and is having to force himself not to rock forward, not to fuck into the man’s fist.

Then his hand slips further back, behind his balls, and Dean crooks a finger until his knuckle is brushing Jimmy’s perineum and _damn,_ it feels incredible. Dean is holding onto his hand tightly, giving him something to ground him and stop him from toppling forwards as he goes a little weak at the knees with pleasure. He expects the sensation to last just a couple of seconds before Dean moves on to fingering him open, but it doesn't stop. Dean’s hand caresses him so beautifully between his legs that soon Jimmy is shaky and panting with need, his cock aching and dampening at the tip and his balls sensitive from the gentle brushing of Dean’s wrist against them as he moves his hand. Jimmy chances a glance down at himself and swallows. Whether he's attractive enough to Dean or not - and he fervently hopes he is - the sight takes his breath for a second. His cock stands up proud and needy, and the way Dean’s hand is disappearing to move rhythmically between his thighs is incredibly erotic - the sight combined with the sensation is overwhelming and he grips Dean’s fingers tightly.

“Stop… I need… we should…” His brain can't form complete sentences but Dean gets it anyway. He smiles up at Jimmy, withdrawing his hand after one last gentle caress to his balls, and says, “Yeah. We really should.”

He's clueless for a second about what they ‘should’ do until Dean stands. Then gentle, coaxing fingers come to his shirt and start to unbutton it. It feels intensely erotic to be standing with his shirt and tie still on but his pants around his thighs, hard and aching against Dean’s naked thigh, and Jimmy’s eyes fall closes in rapture. From Cas come a low whine of want.

Within moments, they're both naked.

Dean coaxes Jimmy to sit down in his lap, his back to Dean’s broad chest, and he goes willingly. Dean’s skin is warm and inviting and he reaches back to try and get more, aching for contact, old fears about being rejected and left alone resurfacing from nowhere and his breathing quickens.

“Shh,” Strong arms encircle his waist and kisses are showered across his shoulder. “I'm here. I've got you.”

Jimmy’s legs are draped on the outside of Dean’s thighs; he gasps in surprise, arousal, and maddening desire when Dean parts his own legs, forcing Jimmy’s thighs wide apart and exposing his erect cock and aching balls to Cas, who whines with need. Jimmy’s arms come up, behind his own head to grasp at Dean’s hair and the movement arches his spine beautifully, displaying his naked body to his brother who is gazing at him with undisguised want in his blue eyes.

“Look at him, Cas,” Dean murmurs, his tongue lapping deliciously at the hollow of Jimmy’s clavicle. “He's so goddamn beautiful. I can't believe you kept him hidden for so long.”

Jimmy tries to hide his face in his arm; he isn't used to praise like this from anyone but Cas, but Dean isn't having it. He continues to murmur words of affection into Jimmy’s skin as his hands slide from his hips to his abdomen, stroking the skin of his stomach but neglecting his hard cock, then slowly moving up so that he can circle Jimmy’s nipples with his fingers. At the instant arch of the twin’s spine, Dean grins wickedly.

“Sensitive, are you?” He nips Jimmy’s neck. “Cas, does your brother have sensitive nipples?”

“Yes.” Cas’ response is ground-out, and when Jimmy flicks his eyes over to his brother he's momentarily stunned at how wrecked he looks. Cas is gripping the arms of the chair, his face and neck flushed and a very telling hardness visible between his legs. His blue eyes are practically sparking with need and desire, but he stays put. Somehow, somewhere, Cas has learned to be obedient. Jimmy gasps as Dean’s thumbs rub gently over both his nipples, caressing and massaging, then they both come up to touch Jimmy’s bottom lip.

“Feels so much better when they're wet…” Dean breathes into his skin and Jimmy doesn't hesitate. He sucks and laps at the insistent thumbs until Dean pulls them free and goes back to his nipples, and - holy _fuck._ He meals, hands tightening in Dean’s hair, arching at the stimulation. Dean is right, so right, spit-wet fingers caressing him feels so damn good and he can't stop a gasp of pleasure leaving his lips.

“Oh yeah, sweetheart, you like that, don't you?” Dean murmurs, his voice an octave lower and somehow even sexier, and Jimmy nods frantically. Cas doesn't like to talk during sex and neither does Jimmy - but he realises with sudden clarity that he likes being talked _to_ immensely. He moans quietly in Dean’s arms, allowing the pleasure to break over him in small waves as his nipples are tugged and tweaked just hard enough to generate a delicious spark of pain.

“He likes that,” Cas is definitely breathless now, no doubt mutinous at not being allowed to join in. “He likes it just a little rough.”

“Do you, hmm?” Dean nuzzles Jimmy’s neck lovingly. “We’ll see about rough. That's not what I have in mind for you tonight.”

He rubs both thumbs over Jimmy’s hard, tender nipples one more time before his hands sink lower on the twin’s body, brushing down his sides to settle at his hips. Jimmy can't help but press back into Dean, the feel of the man’s solid chest and bare skin against him is intoxicating and he wants more. He sneaks another look at Cas, who is practically up and out of his seat with want. He allows himself a small smile, which grows steadily as his brother’s eyes find his. Cas is _wrecked_ simply from watching them. His gaze is pleading, begging to be allowed to join, and for once it's Jimmy in control. It was Dean who told Cas no, Cas who obeyed willingly, but if Jimmy beckons then Cas will come.

He doesn't beckon.

For once, he's the centre of both Cas and Dean’s world and he's _revelling_ in it.

He cants his hips in Dean’s lap, wringing a pleased gasp from the other man, and fingers tighten down on his hips. Dean is closer to orgasm than Jimmy assumed, and it sends an intense thrill through him, one that pushes him that much closer t his own climax. Dean is aroused by _him_ , by pleasing him. By touching him and having him in his lap, by showing him off to Cas. He feels his cheeks flame and shifts his hips again; Dean groans into his ear.

“Jimmy, baby, you keep this up and this is gonna be over way too quickly,” his voice is low and husky and his breath ghosts over Jimmy’s skin. He rocks his hips again, torn between wanting the man beneath to come, or to fuck him senseless. At Dean’s low gasp, he decides abruptly what he wants. They can have anal sex later; right now he wants to know what Dean sounds like when he comes. And he wants Cas to watch every single damn second of it. Fingers tighten down on his hips as Dean starts to pant against him.

“Jimmy… I'm close, baby. You're incredible. Fuck… _fuck…”_

Then a hand comes to the skin between his shoulder blades, Dean’s thighs open wider forcing his own apart, and he's gently eased forward until he's almost bent double. For a moment, he's clueless about the position but goes with it. Then he feels Dean’s hand behind him, on himself, stroking firmly, before the man groans and comes - and his release spurts up Jimmy’s spine. The almost horizontal position means Cas has full view of Dean coming all over his twin, and a low cry of need comes from his general direction. But all Jimmy can hear is Dean.

“Jimmy, _Jimmy…_ fuck, so beautiful, _God…_

Between his thighs, his own cock aches at the sounds of Dean’s pleasure and before he knows what's happening he's being hauled back up and awkwardly turned around, legs and arms akimbo, until he's in Dean’s embrace and their bare chests are pressed together. Dean’s mouth finds his as he comes down from his climax, and they kiss heatedly.

“Jesus, Jimmy. You're goddamn perfect, you know that?” Dean runs his fingers down Jimmy’s spine, sticky with his own semen. They don't stop; they dip low, then a wet finger is caressing his sensitive entrance and Jimmy’s cock pulses. Cas whines. The tip of a finger penetrates him and, helpless against the onslaught of erotic pleasure it brings, he starts to grind his hips. His cock rubs beautifully against Dean’s stomach as he's slowly fingered towards completion, warm lips on his and a strong arm tight around his waist. He wants to drag this out, wants it to last forever, but he just can't hold himself back. A second finger pressed into him and hits his prostate from the inside and he cries out into Dean’s mouth as his orgasm crests and breaks over him. He comes, hard, his body clenching around Dean’s fingers and wetness pulsing between them as his lover gasps against his lips. Dean pulls him somehow even closer, murmuring words of affection and desire, and as Jimmy starts to come down from his ecstatic high he feels his eyes fill with tears for a reason he can't pinpoint, and he wraps his arms around Dean, burying his face in his shoulder.

Gentle fingers trail across his shoulder: Cas. Then he's being cradled between the two of them, sticky and exhausted, and there kissing each other and him and it's perfect. He reaches for Cas, but finds his brother’s jeans undone and wet with release: Cas had come while watching them. His breath hitches in his chest as he hears his twin whisper, ‘love you’ and hears Dean make a noise of wordless agreement in his chest. It's only a second later than he realises the words were meant for him.

*

Jimmy expected to be sent back to his own room once they're clean. Or, at the least, he expects Cas and Dean to cuddle in bed while he plays on his phone, watches TV, or falls asleep. None of those things happen. Dean settles down at his side on the edge of the bed and wraps an arm around his shoulders, kissing him gently. His mouth is warm and comforting, sweet, and exactly what Jimmy didn't know he needed. He's unable to contain a whimper of want, and Dean’s other arm comes up to cradle him. The kiss goes on and on, closed-lipped and beautiful, and Dean runs his hand through Jimmy’s hair before gently easing him down onto the bed. When they break apart, Cas is watching them with a fond, loved-up smile and Dean extends a hand to pull him into bed too, on Jimmy’s other side. Then he drags the quilt and blanket up to cover them and settles down with an arm draped over the stomach of one twin with his hand entwined with the other’s. Right now, Jimmy is the centre of their world in every way, cocooned between his brother and his new lover, and he finds his eyes burning with sudden tears which he manages to blink away. Cas presses up to his back, runs soothing fingers through his hair and kisses his neck as Dean sighs contentedly into his shoulder and closes his eyes. Within minutes, the fingers slow and Cas murmurs sleepy words of love against his twin’s skin, then Cas falls asleep too, leaving Jimmy the only one awake, alone with his thoughts.

Jimmy loves Cas. He loves him so much that sometimes it physically hurts, an ache in his chest that never fully seems to go away until they've been intimate together. But now he loves Dean in that way too, which is wildly exhilarating and confusing and exciting all in one go, because he never knew his heart has enough room to love two people. Dean gives him things Cas cannot: he gives him affection in public with sweet kisses and hand-holding, and in private he gives Jimmy the contact he seeks during and after sex, where Cas always used to pull away and fall asleep. Cas sees his twin finally happy and it's a weight from his shoulders, knowing he doesn't need to be Jimmy’s one and only any more. He loves his twin but needs his independence, and with Dean in the mix nothing could ever be more perfect. Sweet, attentive, handsome Dean who seems to live to make his lovers happy and who fills the gaps that were opening up between the twins. Jimmy sometimes lies awake just to look at him, to wonder where he came from and where the hell he’s been all their lives.

There's more than enough room for all three of them. And, Jimmy can't lie to himself, it will be tough navigating his way through his first poly relationship but he wants to give everything he has to his two partners - for in return, they give him everything they have right back.


End file.
